Fictional News Article:
By Heather Arneson
January 1st, 2020
Today, Lead Stem-Cell Researcher Dr. Markus Froman and Beverly Prior, Director of Health Information Systems at The World Health Organization, with NATO released the empirical data speculation that the occurrence of Diabetes will noticeably decrease in the world over the course of 20 years, due to doctors being lawfully mandated to regulate cortisol levels in all of their patients (young and old). In connection to this, an increase in Oxytocin, “the moral molecule,” will be administered regularly to balance high cortisol levels in patients, and hydrocortisone in people with cortisol deficiencies in the bloodstream.
The Science Behind It: Oxytocin is a neuropeptide, and can induce positive feelings, promote social interaction and bonding in people. It can also multiply muscle tissue in older adults, which enables more independence and health during their retirement (when they need to be able to enjoy days to themselves). In other words, doctors who administer Oxytocin to their patients will not only decrease the likelihood of young people getting diabetes at some point in their lives (which is currently about a one in three chance), and older adults who have the disease will experience less symptoms as a result.
Dr. Froman’s theory that “humanity could be found” by regulating cortisol levels in humans is proven to be safe and effective already. The reasoning behind implementing all of this is that an over-abundance of cortisol in the blood puts people at risk for various health issues, similar to cortisol deficiencies. Dr. Froman outlines that this can be accomplished by regulating cortisol levels during routine blood screenings. Oxytocin will be prescribed to patients with high cortisol levels, and hydrocortisone to patients with cortisol deficiencies. The act of administering insulin stem cells to patients who have a higher risk of diabetes, coupled with mandating regulation of cortisol levels by law is said by various members of the medical community to be what the world needs for promoting peace for the human race.
“When I began my research, I didn’t know how to separate my ego from empirical data. The more I realized what was truly bothering me was the fact that I didn’t want to race against other humans, if the prize was just to feed my own ego, and nothing more. After years of meeting members of the African community and studying Tuberculosis and the human genome, I developed the true understanding that what is important is human connection, not separation. Louis Pasteur, one of the great first Microbiologists, once said ‘The terrain is everything and the bacterium is nothing.’ We are the terrain, and we absolutely need to feel centered on microscopic level in order to survive and progress.” -Dr. Markus Froman
This announcement was made in serendipitous conjunction to NAFTA’s inception, which was on January 1st, 1994. This date marks a time for not only peaceable profitmaking for North America, but also for celebrating this momentous agreement of the minds.
“American exports of computer and electronic products, furniture, paper, and fabricated metals have all more than tripled since NAFTA implementation…NAFTA imports have increased the competitiveness of American businesses. Nearly 60 percent of US total goods imports from Canada and Mexico are used in the production of Made-in-America goods and services.” -Office of the United States Trade Representative [link to article: https://ustr.gov/trade-agreements/free-trade-agreements/north-american-free-trade-agreement-nafta].
Dr. Froman shared these words at the conclusion of our interview today, “My mother used to say that love doesn’t give second glances. It looks, it sees, and doesn’t look away. I agree, and I know that humans can one day be at a place where the world operates like this. Only then can we say humanity exists.”
Dr. Markus Froman received a Post-Doctoral Fellowship at the Feinberg Institute in Chicago, IL in 2015, after obtaining his PHD in Molecular Biology at Northwestern University. During his residency, he learned about the Department of Medicine and Division of Hematology University of Washington in Seattle, where he later studied vivo gene editing to model liver genotoxicity in 2016. Between 2017 and 2019, he conducted field research in Africa surrounding Tuberculosis and how it affects the mammalian genome. In the summer of 2019, he was employed by The World Health Organization as Lead Epidemiologist, where he produced most of his scientific findings.