Some Humor

Please do not steal my ideas.  All of my writing on my site and creative pieces I’ve ever done [unless otherwise stated] is copyrighted to me, Heather Arneson. To all of the good people in the world, I realize already you understand this…the work included below is only some of what I’ve created over the past few years.

I hope you can have some laughs!  Because, laughter is wonderful medicine…

Umbrella

By ©Heather Arneson

 

Sadie Coleridge Gold had an umbrella that was white, red and green and she carried it around with her for a week whether it rained, or even if it wasn’t predicted.  She wanted to be one of those unique characters others talked about when she got older.  And be around eternally after she died.  But she was only 40.

 

It behooved her to say, “No, no-one’s sitting here,” even if the person asking was vaguely attractive and said something nice to her about her hair, which she often struck with a hot iron each morning.  He twirled his hand around the knotted pine bench arm above it for a moment and then presented it to her, “Hello, I’m Dane.”

 

“Oh!  You don’t hear that name very often!”

 

He wrinkled his brow and suddenly seemed agitated with her, “I’m waiting for someone.”

 

She noticed her umbrella was in between them and moved it over to her left side, “Oh, alright.”

 

They sat in silence for a while amidst a business library full of benches and meeting rooms.

 

“Your feet smell!”  She blurted out, unaware of how loud it was and when the thought manifested just before it fell out of her mouth, but either way it lay there as they sat, “I’m sorry, but they do.”

Please check it out:

(Understand that some of these pieces I wrote have inappropriate jargon for younger audiences)

Power Lunch Today-Mock Newsletter [by Heather Arneson]:

Power Lunch Today Fifth Edition- 6-15-17

Power Lunch Today Fourth Edition- 4-13-17

Power Lunch Today Third Edition

Power Lunch Today Second Edition

Power Lunch Today  (contributing writer, David Cohen)

 

 

 

Jokes

Q: What did the rulebook say to the porcupine?

A: I feel like a lot of pricks are trying to read me.

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